Pet Grief: Saying Goodbye to a Beloved Pet

By: Kathryn Sarpong, DVM, DABVP, Founding Veterinarian at Metro Paws Animal Hospital Group

How do I know when it’s time to say goodbye to a beloved pet and where can I find support?

As difficult as these questions are to face, every pet family eventually deals with this stage. Our furry family members have shorter lifespans and cannot advocate for themselves, leaving us with many difficult decisions to make. I have helped many families make these hard choices over the past 25 years as a veterinarian. This week, I had to say goodbye to one of our own dogs, Olivia, at 17 years of age.

The loss of Olivia reminded me of the heartbreak and struggle with grief and questioning of when the time is right as a pet parent.

Understanding Quality of Life When Saying Goodbye

Many pet parents expect a defined moment when quality of life ceases to exist for a pet; the reality is more nuanced. There are online worksheets you can use to help think through issues of pain, appetite, mobility, continence, cognitive state, and joy (see resources below for a good option from the vet school at Ohio State).¹

These tools are not perfect, and trusting your gut instinct is vital. Your veterinarian can give you insight, but we cannot know all aspects of your pet’s life day to day. It is not always the animal’s loss of appetite as a sole point, or any other single measure, that informs quality of life with clarity.

What to Expect During Euthanasia

For euthanasia, veterinarians are devoted to providing a peaceful goodbye for you and your pet. Ask questions and state your wishes.

At our clinic, we typically give an injectable sedative under the skin to relax the pet prior to euthanasia. About 5–15 minutes later, the pet is heavily sedated and feels no pain. When you have said your goodbyes, an antiseizure medication is administered that leads to a rapid loss of any remaining consciousness and a painless passing. With advanced planning, this can often be done in your home.

Coping With Pet Loss and Finding Support

Most veterinarians work with a cremation facility, and you can choose to have your pet’s ashes returned. Online pet loss support groups²˒³, and many therapists work with pet grief. Grief is varied for every member of the family, as there is no timeline to process a great loss.

My family was blessed to have Olivia in our lives for more than 13 of her 17 years on this planet. She went from a starving street dog to a pampered princess. As a family, we have struggled with when the time was right for many months until the balance shifted for her quality of life yesterday.

She did not needlessly suffer and was eating cookies until the sedatives took effect. She blessed all our lives and helped train the younger two dogs in our household.

Talk to your veterinarian about these decisions as your pet ages. Treasure the time we share with them and the joy they bring to our lives.

Resources

  1. Quality of life scale: www.vmc.vet.osu.edu/services/honoring-the-bond
  2. Grief Hotline (free, staffed by volunteers):
    • 540-231-8038
    • 508-839-7966
  3. Grief Websites:

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